Balancing Your Ships

By: BreAnn Robinson“Her Story”

No matter which type of ship you have (relationship, friendship, partnership,) you must have balance. Balance is the state of equilibrium; equilibrium is the state of physical balance and a calm mind! Without balance in the physical and mental we are in a disarray. Things are unclear, unfocused, and chaotic.

This has been my case this year of 2021! Finding and maintaining balance within all my ships. It has been a challenge, yet I know that it has helped to shape me into a better individual. There were times where I have had balance within my mind, yet it didn’t transfer to my physical and vice versa. That caused me to not show up where I was needed and even missed important events and deadlines. Therefore, I had to recalibrate and reevaluate all my ships and determine if I had the space, time, and right headspace to cultivate them all.

With conducting the introspection and truly evaluating each ship I had become involved with, I had to make the conscience decision to get rid of some ships because it was no longer a good fit for my life nor theirs. This was hard for me because initially I felt as if I had failed the person/people and myself. However, I learned that there are seasons and reasons for every ship we become involved with. It’s up to us to overstand the purpose of the ship in our lives and make the most appropriate decision. This led me to be more intentional and defining the purpose the ship is supposed to serve in my life.

**When your ship is balanced the sailing is smooth!**

I’ve grown since learning this and continue to conduct introspection on a weekly basis. Having a balanced relationship, friendship, or partnership means having equity with each other and making sure that your both feel comfortable and supported. And even with that it still ensures there is independence. That’s the struggle I was having I wasn’t feeling supported and comfortable in all my ships, and there were somewhere I knew I wasn’t providing the needed support either.

So, I sat down and decided I need to have a list to be able to effectively evaluate if my relationships are balanced. Creating this list was an eye opener. It helped me to realize the value I bring to all of my ships and how I should not receive anything less nor give anything less.

Core Principles to Achieving Balance in Your Ships

Invest Your Time and Energy into yourself (self-care), your partner and the ship
Learn how to healthy compromise (finding a new path together that satisfies both people)
Engage in authentic dialogue often with active listening
Conduct introspection daily or weekly
Owning your own happiness
Honesty & Transparency
Be kind and always show love
Set, Understand, and Protect your boundaries

If you find any of these not to be showing up in your ships, it’s time to do a reevaluation. Because in that moment you are unbalanced. Always take the time to recenter within your ships. Think of a balancing scale; sometimes it can be the same weight on both ends and still be unbalanced. Why: because something on one end isn’t positioned properly causing an unbalance.

All in all understand your balancing act and what it takes to get there and maintain it! Don’t be afraid to let someone or some people go. If they are meant to be long term, they will either come back or get balanced. But don’t remain in the unclear, unfocused, & chaotic mess.