BAM MOVEMENT Monthly Inspirational Blog
Restoration After Desperation: Freedom In Forgiveness
April 2022
By: Deborah Wiley “Her FAITH Story”
Deuteronomy 30:3
“God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered.”
As a young girl growing up as a victim of maternal abandonment at the tender age of three, has for the greater part of my life left me with an array of challenges and emotions. I often felt left in a space to drown within my emotions of loneliness, physical and emotional neglect, despair, shame, and pain – missing my mother’s love and touch. There is a popular saying: “You can’t miss what you never had.” However, knowing firsthand, maternal abandonment can be a lifelong silent emotional roller coaster; especially when there is no outlet to discuss the emotional trauma that lives within your soul.
So, what do you do?
You move on, adapt, and deploy the defense mechanism of downplaying the significance of the emotional trauma. To shine a beautiful light on my truth, I was extremely blessed to be left with the apple of my eye, my father, along with 4 brothers. Without my father ‘s nourishing spirit, love, and compassion for his children, I would indeed not be the phenomenal woman that I am today.
Faith and Forgiveness
Finding forgiveness is the gateway to restoration and healing of the soul. The scripture tells us in Ephesians 4:32. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
The Bible speaks of two types of forgiveness:
God’s pardon of our sins, and our obligation to pardon others. After years of seeking the WHY? along with craving my mother’s love and acceptance; and never receiving any of the above.
One day, the warm spirit of the Lord spoke to me, letting me know that it is essential for my soul salvation to forgive and release the emotional stain and pain of the abandonment and rejection. While looking into the eyes of my mother from a portrait. I began to see and hear her soul. A soul that polluted with her very own silent emotional trauma locked up inside her. Oh my, how I could relate, immediately, I began to cry out, I forgive you, I forgive you, I’m sorry, I forgive you. To this day, I do not know her story, however, I pray that God will grant her peace within her soul.
Today, I am grateful that God has turned my Desperation into restoration. I have forgiven my mother both internally and verbally and it feels so good.
Forgiveness heals the soul! God your God, will Restore!
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